Practice GMAT Sentence Correction Question

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The Battle of Bull Run, which took place on July 21, 1861 near the town of Manassas, an important event in American history in that this historic event was the first major ground battle of the Civil War, which resulted in over 500,000 deaths and a turning of the tide against the practice of slavery.

A)	an important event in American history in that this historic event was the first major ground battle of the Civil War, which resulted in over 500,000 deaths and a turning of the tide against the practice of slavery.
B)	an important event in American history marking the first major ground battle of the Civil War, which resulted in the death of over 500,000 Americans and the abolition of slavery.
C)	was an important event in American history as it had marked the first major ground battle of the Civil War, which resulted in the death of over 500,000 Americans and the abolition of slavery.
D)	is an important event in American history as it marked the first major ground battle of the Civil War, which resulted in the death of over 500,000 Americans and the abolition of slavery.
E)	is an important event in American history due to it marking the first major ground battle of the Civil War, resulting in the death of over 500,000 Americans and the abolition of slavery.

Correct Answer: D

There are two problems with the original sentence.

(1) The subject (The Battle of Bull Run) lacks a verb. was or is must be inserted so that the subject can have a verb.

(2) The phrase in that this historic event was is wordy and could be made more concise.

the subject (The Battle of Bull Run) lacks a verb; the phrase in that this historic event was is wordy and could be made more concise
the subject (The Battle of Bull Run) lacks a verb; the phrase event in American history marking the first major ground needs to be split up by a comma after history in order to give the correct idea that marking modifies the idea that precedes it
the past tense was gives the false impression that the Battle was at some point in the past important, but it is not important today; the past perfect tense had marked is incorrect
the subject has a present tense verb; the sentence is concise; the , which modifies what directly precedes it (namely the Civil War) and this modification is logical
the phrase resulting in the death of over 500,000 illogically modifies the subject that precedes it (The Battle of Bull Run), giving the false impression that over 500,000 people died in this one battle
Note: which modifies the word or term immediately preceding the comma (i.e., the Civil War) in the correct answer while resulting in the death of over 500,000 modifies the subject or idea to which it refers (The Battle of Bull Run)

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