Practice GMAT Sentence Correction Question

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As the Federal government's deficit grows, analysts project that the extra cost to the Treasury Department in higher interest rates is well over 50 basis points per year.

A)	the extra cost to the Treasury Department in higher interest rates is well over 50 basis points per year
B)	the extra cost to the Treasury Department, incurred in higher interest rates, is going to be well over an extra 50 basis points per year
C)	the Treasury Department will face higher interest rates, well over an extra 50 basis points per year
D)	higher interest rates will cost the Treasury Department well over an extra 50 basis points per year
E)	well over an extra 50 basis points per year will be the cost that is going to be borne by the Treasury Department

Correct Answer: D

There are three issues in this sentence.

(1) The sentence is not concise.

(2) The sentence unnecessarily uses passive voice and should use active voice.

(3) The sentence unnecessarily inserts space between the subject and verb, which makes understanding the sentence more difficult.

the sentence could be made more direct by saying X will cost Treasury Y instead of saying the extra cost to Treasury in X is Y
the phrase is going to be well over is wordy as going and to be convey the same idea
the phrase well over an extra 50 basis points per year awkwardly modifies the higher interest rates and breaks the flow of the sentence
the sentence is concise and uses active voice
the sentence unnecessarily uses passive voice

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